Momma's Getting Her Groove Back

Little by very little. I went to the gym and will be every morning that we don't have an appointment. Little Munchkin still eats every 2 hours so I cannot be gone long (I have no freezer stash except a bottle or two). When on earth will this little girls feeds start to space apart? Hmmmm. Little Munchkin got done with her growth spurt or whatever she was going through and is sleeping through the night again. Hallelujah!!! Shaved my legs, trimmed toenails and got my hair cut. Oh and also managed to pick up a few things I needed so badly jeans, athletic shoes, socks. Getting over my hurrendous sinus funk. Yuck! These were some bad bugs this time but we do not use antibiotics so things hang around a little longer but we are always a little stronger after the fact :)

I think that this time I will feel comfortable going on date night and pumping a bottle or leaving baby food for Little Munchkin. With Little Buddy, we didn't go on date night til he was around a year old. Ugh! That was wayyyyyyyy too long.

Just as soon as Grandma is done making Little Buddy's new bed, I will be able to room with him (on the trundle) and Little Munchkin can sleep by herself in our room as every tiny little noise I make and she either waked up or stirs. I cannot sleep very well in there any more, cause she's always stirring. Eventually, she will be in Little Buddy's room, but for now it's way too early. Cop Dad is still on the couch. He has really bad sleep apnea and jumps up and shouts and snores and thinks people are coming to get him in his sleep and it's very hard to sleep with him myself. I cannot imagine Little Munchkin sleeping with that. Eventually, when Little Munchkin moves into Little Buddy's room, Cop Dad will move back into our room and so will I. Plus, Cop Dad comes in late and makes lots of noise, that being in the room with Little Munchkin and I after we are already asleep would not work at all.

Thanks to text messaging and picture phones, I am able this time around to keep in better contact to my family and friends. Last baby, I would just not really talk to anyone for months. Funny, how hard I thought it was having one. Looking back it was hard as Little Buddy is a high needs baby/child, but so much easier to concentrate on one child rather than two.

Oh, and thanks to Cop Dad for gifting me the Ipod, I can actually watch a movie or listen to a podcast, etc. before bed while I nurse Little Munchkin. Did not have any of that the first baby either and I was just so detached from everyone and everything.

Getting better at outings with Little Munchkin and Little Buddy. We have been heading out for winter walks, to the little zoo by our house, and even to the mall (if it's too cold and we have cabin fever) to stretch our legs and let Little Buddy ride the carousel and try out our double stroller. CANNOT WAIT TIL SPRING! Then we are out of this house every chance we get. Down the street, to our friends, to the zoo, to the arboretum, ETC.!!!

I still feel very detached from myself. All the things I like and enjoy and feeling like my children can kind of fend for themselves is a long way off. I feel like I am in a whirlwind. Not really doing that great of a job with either child and having to do a half assed job on either of them always. It's sad and frustrating. If I start to do a really good job with one of them, I have neglected or ignored the other one. It's like your heart is being stretched so far that it is starting to rip but doesn't, just keeps stretching and beating and stretching and beating. This motherhood thing is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. Ever!

Quote Of The Day

"Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard."
~ Author Unknown

Monday's Bundle

Silent Saturday

Same Time Next Year?

 

For some reason or another, I missed any and all Girl Scouts this year, which means no cookies for me. Not that I need any as I am still bigger than I'd like to be but usually most years I finish off my yearly birthday indulging with some Samoas (pictured above). Sure, I saw plenty of Boy Scouts in early fall selling their boring popcorn while I was pregnant but all I could think was, "Where are the cookies?" Poor Boy Scouts can't hold a candle to the Girl Scouts and their cookies when it comes to fund raising time. "Hey, Samoas, see you same time next year? . . . . . I hope?" What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie? Me thinks you like the Thin Mints? Huh?

Dang! Why does breastfeeding make you crave sugar so badly? Ugh!

The Gift

 

I doubt most of you know the way I am about spending money and NOT "Keeping Up With The Joneses." The fact is that I am not like that at all. I do once in a blue moon see the need to purchase some new technology but usually use the same old camera, computer, generic mp3 player, etc. as long as they are in working order and money can be used for something else like home improvements, basic necessities, and the such.

I purchased a cheap little mp3 player when Little Buddy was about 18 months old and I started to go to the gym and needed tunes and all I had was a huge, portable, blue, cd player with headphones. So I got the mp3 player and loaded it with songs for my workout and I was happy. Happy for the more modern and compact music player and the cheapness of it ($50 @ Target), and happy that I was not in fact one of the people that had to have the most expensive music player with all the bells and whistles. And I was being practical when I was going to listen to some tunes for maybe an hour a day only when I went to the gym.

Now, I do not go to the gym anymore. I was cramping during pregnancy really bad and being high risk they said it was not worth putting myself or baby in jeopardy so I stopped going when I was about 3 months pregnant. My little generic mp3 player sat unused for all this time.

When I had Little Munchkin I quickly settled into a routine and as soon as she was sleeping through the night I only found myself with one frustrating and time consuming part of my day: Putting her down for bed. It sometimes took hours. I was sitting there in the dark and staring at the clock as I am not a cosleeper but do room share with her and the crib is about a foot from where I lay. So I would nurse her to sleep in the rocking chair with my nursing pillow and wait til she fell asleep then creep over to the crib to lay her down ever so gently only to have her wake up and have to start all over again. This went on some nights for hours. It was very frustrating and I never dealt with this quite so badly with Little Buddy. So I started to send text messages to hubby and friends and relatives in the dark but quickly learned that people are busy or sleeping or have lives and so I sat again, in the dark, with my thoughts and Little Munchkin. Then I though of downloading audio books onto my mp3 player to listen to during this time. So I downloaded several from a freebie file sharing site. This was great, I was at least able to listen to something as I sat there in the rocker, in between my many failed attempts to lay her down in her crib and it did not bother her or anyone else in the house. Yeah!

This was a great thing until many of the audio books I downloaded ended up being garbled, cut off in the middle, or sped up and sounded like The Chipmunks reading rather than an adult human. THEN the darn thing kept dying on me after very little usage the battery was draining really fast. Ugh, I felt defeated. Just as soon as I found a fabulous new little outlet for in this point and time I have no other, no tv other than kiddie shows, no sex, no coffee, no fun outings in the cold, no red sauce, no girls night, no date night, no texting the world, AND NOW no more audio books in the dark. Ugh! I was about to lose my mind. No, I WAS losing my mind. Quickly.

Then Cop Dad asked me what I thought of the iTouch? I have no idea what I think of it, just seems like some name I've heard of something unnecessary for me and I have no idea what it even does?!? Then he asked me what I thought of the iPod Classic. Again, what would I need that for? I need to be all eyes and ears and arms and hands and quick reflexes and nerves of steel while staying home and taking care of a baby and toddler every day. Those items are for college students of childless people who ride the train to work and so I have no idea why he was asking me about this. Then he told me that he wanted to get me one for my birthday present so I could download movies and music and audio books so I would be a little happier and have a little fun in my life and during my endless nightly hours in the rocking chair with Little Munchkin.

So as we both looked into both items a little further, I decided that I wanted an iPod Classic. The touch has internet which would be nice to be able to check e-mail or surf the internet but in April we will be getting new phones with qwerty and internet and gps so really we didn't think we would need that in the touch. Also the iPod Classic has way more space on it. The screen is much smaller but I do not want a huge screen because it would be much more distracting/stimulating while I am trying to watch something on it and Little Munchkin is falling asleep.

So, Cop Dad got me and iPod for my birthday last week. I connected it to my computer and loaded everything on my iTunes all by itself. Then I went to the iTunes store and bought some movies: The Picture Of Dorian Gray, It's A Wonderful Life, The Wizard Of Oz, then Cop Dad bought and loaded National Lampoons Christmas Vacation for me.

I never would have thought that this would be such a wonderful thing for me. Ooooooooohhhhhhhh, AND I was elated to find that there are many Old Time Radio broadcasts as Podcasts that are free. So I am loading and have a subscription to Old Time Radio Mystery, Thriller, and Detectives too. It is really very cool.

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter and love nursing her and staring at her angelic face in the light of the night light. I love resting my head back with eyes shut and decompressing for a bit too. Some nights though, 2-3 hours in the dark with a baby (who's asleep and can;t talk to you anyways) can make even the best of mothers a little nutty.

I love my gift! Thanks Cop Dad! You did mention that my iTunes account had no limit. Right? lol

Best Card I Ever Got . . . . . . EVER!!!

Got this from Little Buddy and Cop Dad yesterday as I returned from the store with Little Munchkin. We have had much art in the house created by Little Buddy since he learned to draw. I have never gotten a customized birthday card from him and I was so choked up and warm and fuzzy inside as he explained what it said and was so proud of himself and wanted lots of hugs and kisses too. Thank God he cannot write the numbers yet, actually daddy left them out as he wrote the words for Little Buddy. He does certainly grasp the birthday concept and was all too happy to help daddy give me my birthday gift and eat cake and ice cream with us of course. I love this boy and honestly the card was the best part of my whole day!

Happy 101

Thank you Tara over at Just One Moment In Forever for the blog award!!! She too is a cops wife and I have not known her as long as my other blog pals, she is one "Awesome Aussie" and I'm proud to know her (in blogland anyway). Here are the rules for accepting:

• Copy the award image into a post
• List 10 things that make you happy
• Tag 10 bloggers who brighten your day
• Put a link to their blogs
• Notify the award receivers
• Recipients should link back to the sender's blog

My computer time is little and short at this point in my life with a new baby and toddler and a Cop Dad is is gone much I will skip the awarding of others part (hope y'all understand?) but share with you what makes me happy and post the rules anyway just in case you want to award someone or yo'self :)

My 10 Happy Things: (These are not the only things, I have many, but off the top of my head and at this moment in time, these are it).

1) FUNNY STUFF Love to laugh!!!!! Though I do not think everything is funny I love finding humor in things even if it's dirty funny, yes, I had my OB in tears with some of the gross pregnancy complaints I had, laughing at myself and when other people can laugh at themselves too. In my day I often think of funny remarks and come backs constantly but keep them to myself (usually) my husband can often tell when I have one rolling around in my head and forces it out of me.

2) GREAT FOOD Love all kinds of food and have a horrible sweet tooth too, my butt proves it :)

3) ART I love seeing art, reading about it, creating it, anything artsy fartsy, what else do you expect from an art major and former graphic designer?

4) DATE NIGHT Hanging with the hubs and getting a bite, seeing a movie, etc.

5) GIRLS NIGHT Getting away and female bonding, laughter, and hanging with another mom.

6) GREAT SLEEP Ok not even tons of sleep but definitely sleepin'-like-a-rock-sleep and uninterrupted.

7) OLD MOVIES Black and whites and often thrillers like Hitchcocks and Sherlock Holmes. Think I got this love from my mom, she is a HUGE fan of oldies too and some times when she sees an old one she tells me all about it and vice versa. We have seen most of the really good ones but once in awhile, we discover another one that's been missed. Just saw the beginning of Hitchcock's Foreign Correspondant the other day til the whole house woke up and I had to hit record on the DVR. I'll get to the end of it one of these days :)

8) KEEPING BUSY I rarely sit and love warm weather and flying out the door and heading to a parade or cook out at my in-laws, gardening or walking the bike path with the stroller (or without) just being free and doing just about anything with people or alone is good too :)

9) CLEANLINESS Yes, basic but if things in my life are dirty, I get really, really disgusted and depressed. I need a shower, LOVE A CLEAN HOUSE!!! (though it is often far from it these days), a littlerless neighborhood or highway or town, clean yard, clean car. Not OCD clean where I bleach everything daily or bounce a quarter off the beds just basically clean and organized. Doesn't bother some people but I can't stand it if everything is all over the place and dog hair is stuck to everything and old jelly is a sticky dark spot on the kitchen floor and dust is blowing in the house and you can see it if the sun is up. BTW, my house is a hurrendous mess right now and I hardly want to touch anything or sit anywhere. I am not spotless always but it does make me very happy when everything is clean in my world.

I STOLE it, I just had to . . . . . .

Sorry, to the fine women over at Walking a Thin Blue Line but I had to steal the Cops Wives Prayer cause I love it and because maybe someone may not read it there if they do not go to that blog or miss it on the side bar, etc. Here it is. And boy do I need this lately!

Police Wives Prayer

Dear God, give me COURAGE, for perhaps I lack
it more than anything else.
I need COURAGE as I witness my husband's
departure for duty each day.
I need COURAGE as I see him put on his uniform
because I know the abuse that perhaps
he will be subjected to before he returns
from his tour of duty.
I need COURAGE in dealing with the children
when he is working long hours
during demonstrations or on an
investigation
I need COURAGE when tensions buildup on
the job and pressures at home
to mount and life becomes almost
too much to bear.
I need COURAGE to stand firm and not to
succumb to the urge to run away
from problems.
Help me to have the strength to be a
COURAGEOUS and Valiant Woman,
when I learn from the media that a
"police officer's been hurt."
The next time I waver or grow faint-hearted,
Help me, O Divine Master,
to be COURAGEOUS.
And, having found the source of strength in
You, Help me to reach out to
others, who may be just
as scared as I.

Amen

Prayer given at the DC Police Wives Installation Dinner, on June 15, 1973, by Reverend R. Joseph Dooley. Copyright © 1973 - All Rights Reserved

Beautiful Blogger Award

I am just now getting around to graciously accepting and posting my Beautiful Blogger Award from my fabulous blog pal Natalie from over at Martin Enterprises. Thank you Natalie!!! Little does she know that I feel the very ugliest of my life at this point in time AND I often think of her and her wisdom in my day to day. We have some very significant details in common such as: both cops wives, both stay home, both don't drink, both mothers of small children. I think there are a few other things too but those are the biggest.

Anyway, I am going to keep this short as my little 12 week old baby Little Munchkin is sitting in her chair on the kitchen table and starting to fuss and my 3 year old son Little Buddy is upstairs watching Arthur. So without further ado. I will now post 7 very exciting (not really) things about myself. Here goes:

1) I grew up in a home where my mom was playing and teaching piano all the time so I love classical music. I especially love hearing piano music on the radio. If I catch many of the pieces that my mother used to play it brings me back to my childhood and adulthood too as I lived with her in an apartment til I was 30.

2) I love nature. I love being outdoors and hike and camp and garden and walk regularly accept when it's very cold.

3) I love to cook and bake and organize and fix things.

4) I am constantly getting rid of things we do not need. I give it away or sell it or Freecycle it. I get a purging high, it's fabulous :)

5) I am very particular about friends (why are so many women so fake and bitchy?) and I have friends who range in age from their 20's to their 60's.

6) I almost ALWAYS overhear people when they say something negative about me or someone else. Call it bad timing and sensitive hearing? It sucks. I wish I was more oblivious. I hate when I go to a restaurant or store and hear the employees talking badly about the people that they serve whether it be me or someone else. Ugh! Oh, and I cannot work in an office for this reason ever, ever, again. No way!

7) Some day I would like to: Be thin again, Travel, Be a professional organizer or art teacher for kids/elderly, Volunteer with my kids, Did I mention travel?, Live in the country, Have a big garden, Learn to knit, Learn to swim, Go almost totally vegetarian, Exercise daily, Take a cooking class, Take a wood shop class, See the Smithsonian, Visit all the National Forests and Parks, OK, I would go on but it's time to feed the baby.

Now I wish I had the time to also award others and I should be feeding the baby and folding laundry and putting on my pj's and so on. These are the rules though if you read this and feel like awarding somebody or even awarding yourself.

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award
2. Copy the award and place it on your blog
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award
4. Tell us 7 interesting things about yourself
5. Nominate 7 bloggers
6. Post links to the 7 blogs I nominate

Damn Groundhog!

 

Ready for spring! Then that little groundhog had to come out and see his shadow. Boo! Anyone else feeling cold and dry and suffocating in their house right about now? With ongoing illness too? Ugh! Hang in there, before long we will be complaining about it being too hot and having sunburn. Ha! Today's weather for Chicago is high of 32 and low of 21 with snow flurries. At least this week we are in the thirties. Last week we were in the teens and not likin' it one bit.