A Tired Post From Sleepyville

When I say Sleepyville I am referring to me. Things have gone from bad to worse in that department. Waking every 2-3 hours to go pat a baby on the butt/back or put my hand on his chest til he falls back asleep has now turned into crying to go down for nap, sleep, throughout all sleep? A cry that escalates into screaming bloody murder in less than a minute. I understand that my little buddy is 6 teeth behind. I also now feel what I think is a large molar on his bottom right gum when I brush his teeth with the finger brush. He got a doozy of a cold on top of it with a bad fever of 102.3 in the first 2 days which is now gone (fever not the cold). So now the appetite is all kinds of screwy, general mood is downright crankiness and the sleep situation which I didn't think could have gotten worse . . . . . . has. I am so tired of being tired. I think this is going to be pretty bad til the cold is gone and all his teeth come in, maybe when he's 2 or 3 I will get some sleep. Last night oddly he slept through the night after screaming for over an hour going to sleep last night. My husband couldn't take it he wanted to leave so he wouldn't have to hear the screaming. I said, "Me too!" My husband wants to pick him up and hold him til he falls asleep every night which I now refuse to do unless he's terribly ill or injured because he already knows how to fall asleep alone and from awake. As of last night I am implementing the go in every 5 minutes and pat him tactic (no talking, lights, picking up, or touching face etc.,) which worked wonders at around 3 months he was able to go to sleep alone and awake and then began to sleep through the night doing just that. From what I understand the teething of molars can create horrible pressure in the ears and often ear infections too. I think that's why he cries when we put him down to go to sleep and cries out through the night. I would have thought the Motrin, tooth & gum brushing & massaging, homeopathic teething pellets, breastfeeding, and intense nose clearing with nasal spray galore and the sucker bulb would have made him slightly comfortable before bed. I told my husband last night in a whisper in the dark of our room (so nobody would hear us and think we were coming in to get him and get even more mad), that I think I am losing my #$%&ing mind. Sorry if this offends you, I think I am not alone when I say that children are totally a blessing and a joy but they can completely make you batty at the same time. I hope that this passes soon. Perhaps the go in every 5 minute thing will work it's wonders again. I hope so.

22.4 Pounds This Morning!

Hip, Hip, Hooray! Speaking of hips, much smaller hips, butt, thighs, well and everything else. Why is it that the weight first leaves the breasts on women in weight loss? No fair. I see myself as a much thinner Val with the breasts I have now and long hair too. Of course that's a pipe dream. I know that as I lose more weight the breasts will decrease in size too, and when I'm done breastfeeding well I hear they go down smaller than they were originally . . . . . oh goody. In combination with losing weight I decided to have a "Hair-a-thon". I haven't gotten my hair cut since December and I'm going to see how long I can go. I have been overweight with short hair since mid pregnancy, I now intend on achieving the opposite. I used to have longer hair, OK shoulder length is a big deal for me cause I have such thin stringy hair. However, it was always nice if I didn't get a shower to throw my hair in a ponytail or bun and could actually leave the house. Now with the shortish hair I cannot leave the house in the morning and let people actually see me. It's greasy, sticking out all over the place and gross. My beautician (the only person in the world that I have found that can cut my hair the right way), up and moved to Atlanta over a year ago. Since then I have had some horrible cuts. She was back in town in December so I got a normal cut again. Now I'll just wait til she's back again to get it cut. She'll die if/when she sees this mop. The disadvantage to the longer hair is that my little guy likes to pull on it for fun. Ouch!


I/we are still getting shitty sleep. My son is up at least every 2-3 hours all night long. I have much less energy now and after having a full nights sleep for a little over 8 months, well it's extremely frustrating. After talking to many moms, the pediatricians office, the LC's, and doing internet research I think I figured out what his problem is. For the last few nights I haven't been nursing at all. I decided to try something else after noticing much of the time he wouldn't even suck he just latched on and laid there. I was also up to my eyes in pee pee diapers. Changing diapers in the middle of the night while my son screams, cries, & thrashes is not very relaxing for any of us. If I didn't he would wet through the diaper doubler, the diaper, his clothes, and bedding. Changing all that in the middle of the night very traumatic for the entire household. So, after all the investigating I believe that it is a combination of 2 problems: teething for the last few months (he has extremely slow teeth, 14 months and only has 6 teeth), and nighttime separation anxiety. He has stranger anxiety very bad no matter what I do. He likes people from afar but then if they get too close, look out. He often wants me over my husband. This I think is quite normal . . . . . to a degree. It is obvious that he has stranger & separation anxiety pretty bad while awake (which is very common and normal at this age), so I can easily see why he would have it while asleep. I go in his room now and either pat him on the back or place my hand on his chest and he is instantly soothed and goes right back to sleep. Between the tension in his mouth from the teething, he probably has 4-6 teeth working their way through at the same time and the separation anxiety he probably feels quite restless. Can't wait til this phase passes. Thanks for reading my yammering. These issues may seem quite trivial but to an exhausted mother doing this for over 3 months it is quite unsettling and chaotic.

Through The Spindles On The Crib

I am a stay-at-home-mom. It took me forever but I worked my way (and paid my way) through college. After graduating, I worked as a graphic designer in publishing for 6 years, at three different companies, and did freelance on the side here and there (still do). I still enjoy design but hope to never work for a publishing company again, possibly a textbook or book publisher. I really do not have the aggressive/ phony/ sell-my-soul-for-my-career/ my-job-is-my-life / salesman's ass kissing/ dog eat dog personality that it takes to be a star as a graphic designer in the publishing world. I enjoy life outside of work way too much, I'm too honest, I suck at being owned and available 12+ hours a day, I'm the farthest thing from competitive, and I don't like to wear suits or sexy clothes to work. I thought that's what I wanted to do. Oh, and I don't get excited about work functions, office parties, company picnics, sports, getting drunk with co-workers, dealing with all the egos, and I stink at kissing ass . . . . . . . unless I really mean it.

Ever since I can remember I wanted to go to art school (did that), wait to get married (did that), wait to have kids (honestly, what's the rush?), and be a stay-at-home-mom (am one), and breastfeed (do). I hope to one day return to some type of creative career or job but for the next few years I will be staying at home to raise my kid(s). I could never imagine having my children and dumping them off at daycare to strangers to hold and (probably not even enjoy) my children every day. I want to see their first steps, words, etc.

I think about working again one day and maybe I could be a craft teacher for the elderly, or an art teacher for little kids, or challenged kids. I could see myself as a professional organizer. I would definitely have to work with people. People who would appreciate it. Fresh young minds, or fragile, old, kind minds. I really love art, creating things, figuring things out, beauty & order. I hope that I will be able to find something like that some day.

Meanwhile, my little guy is 11 and 1/2 months old. He turns 1 year old the end of January. He is starting to walk a little. He has horrible stranger anxiety, even with relatives who aren't MaMa or DaDa . . . . . OY! He has two teeth, and four on the way (poor little guy). Right after Christmas he came down with a horrible fever & cold. That's right when we realized he had some teeth coming in front top. As the weeks have passed he is better from his cold but the teething is just awful. He wakes through the night screaming and when you try to pick him up he thrashes about. Awww! What happened to the little angel that slept through the night for so many months? His little face has swollen spots and he for one reason or another has developed a hoarse sounding cry and squeak. His appetite is lacking (but still loves to nurse). Oh, and he has stopped taking both naps on many days. This is quite exhausting for both him and me.

I took a picture of him in his crib while he was actually napping quite soundly. You can't see in this picture but it took him about 30-45 minutes to fall asleep. In the process he wiggled around a lot and his two receiving blankets got all twisted around his middle. His thumb fell out of his mouth, and his feet were sticking through the spindles on the crib.