Momma's Getting Her Groove Back

Little by very little. I went to the gym and will be every morning that we don't have an appointment. Little Munchkin still eats every 2 hours so I cannot be gone long (I have no freezer stash except a bottle or two). When on earth will this little girls feeds start to space apart? Hmmmm. Little Munchkin got done with her growth spurt or whatever she was going through and is sleeping through the night again. Hallelujah!!! Shaved my legs, trimmed toenails and got my hair cut. Oh and also managed to pick up a few things I needed so badly jeans, athletic shoes, socks. Getting over my hurrendous sinus funk. Yuck! These were some bad bugs this time but we do not use antibiotics so things hang around a little longer but we are always a little stronger after the fact :)

I think that this time I will feel comfortable going on date night and pumping a bottle or leaving baby food for Little Munchkin. With Little Buddy, we didn't go on date night til he was around a year old. Ugh! That was wayyyyyyyy too long.

Just as soon as Grandma is done making Little Buddy's new bed, I will be able to room with him (on the trundle) and Little Munchkin can sleep by herself in our room as every tiny little noise I make and she either waked up or stirs. I cannot sleep very well in there any more, cause she's always stirring. Eventually, she will be in Little Buddy's room, but for now it's way too early. Cop Dad is still on the couch. He has really bad sleep apnea and jumps up and shouts and snores and thinks people are coming to get him in his sleep and it's very hard to sleep with him myself. I cannot imagine Little Munchkin sleeping with that. Eventually, when Little Munchkin moves into Little Buddy's room, Cop Dad will move back into our room and so will I. Plus, Cop Dad comes in late and makes lots of noise, that being in the room with Little Munchkin and I after we are already asleep would not work at all.

Thanks to text messaging and picture phones, I am able this time around to keep in better contact to my family and friends. Last baby, I would just not really talk to anyone for months. Funny, how hard I thought it was having one. Looking back it was hard as Little Buddy is a high needs baby/child, but so much easier to concentrate on one child rather than two.

Oh, and thanks to Cop Dad for gifting me the Ipod, I can actually watch a movie or listen to a podcast, etc. before bed while I nurse Little Munchkin. Did not have any of that the first baby either and I was just so detached from everyone and everything.

Getting better at outings with Little Munchkin and Little Buddy. We have been heading out for winter walks, to the little zoo by our house, and even to the mall (if it's too cold and we have cabin fever) to stretch our legs and let Little Buddy ride the carousel and try out our double stroller. CANNOT WAIT TIL SPRING! Then we are out of this house every chance we get. Down the street, to our friends, to the zoo, to the arboretum, ETC.!!!

I still feel very detached from myself. All the things I like and enjoy and feeling like my children can kind of fend for themselves is a long way off. I feel like I am in a whirlwind. Not really doing that great of a job with either child and having to do a half assed job on either of them always. It's sad and frustrating. If I start to do a really good job with one of them, I have neglected or ignored the other one. It's like your heart is being stretched so far that it is starting to rip but doesn't, just keeps stretching and beating and stretching and beating. This motherhood thing is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. Ever!