So Cop Dad made it to FTO training this week. This is day two and goes through Friday. Months ago he put in for FTO, then they gave him ET and DTI. He was flattered but then in the few months during and right before a new baby is coming from a high risk pregnancy, it has been a lot extra for him to stress about. So, he is traveling 40 miles each way every day for the training. Not a biggie but when your pregnant wife is about to pop and having lots of cramps and contractions, being an extra 40 miles away does not help. Anyway, we did not think we would make it this far. I have a very small, misshapen (bicornuate, or heart shaped) uterus that barely held a much smaller Little Buddy only 36 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours and 45 minutes last pregnancy. This baby is VERY, VERY BIG already passed up Little Buddy's size from the last pregnancy, weeks ago. This baby is also transverse (or completely sideways) and is already over seven pounds, so you can imagine how very comfortable I am. I'm literally ALL stomach. I am only 5' 3" and look like I'm carrying multiples or something. Really I think it looks pretty bizarre and wherever I go I get lots of stares and even some pointing too. Here comes the circus side show. lol Seriously though, getting tired of all the gawking wherever I go. Then add in the fact that I have to make several pathetic attempts to get up or bend over for things and you can imagine how hilarious I must look. We even went to the movie on date night and a group of obnoxious teenagers were pointing and laughing and walking past me with their arms hooped out in front of them and waddling. Honestly, were they born under a rock? I guess, it's just cause I'm otherwise so small and the stomach is so, N-E-V-E-R-E-N-D-I-N-G. I tried to explain to Cop dad the other day that it feels like someone surgically implanted a watermelon SIDEWAYS in me. Weird, I wonder what normal women feel like this late in pregnancy when the baby goes head down and drops into the pelvis. I try not to dwell on it but imagine how much more comfortable it must be than this.
OK, so we have pretty much everything ready: bags packed, stocked diaper/overnight bag for Little Buddy in case we have to dump him at Grandma's apartment, teeny diapers, everyone on standby too. AND yes, I keep getting house cleaned and ready every night so it is not a disaster for whoever comes here to watch Little Buddy and Psycho Dog during my 4-5 day hospital stay. Grandparents all have Little Buddy/Psycho Dog/House instructions. I am still under close observation with the Maternal Fetal Medicine Department at the hospital and also have been going to the OB weekly for the last several weeks for NST (non stress testing) as well as cervix check and regular OB appointment too. I'm truly glad for all the modern medicine and technology but so tired of all the appointments and poking and prodding and monitoring and running around. Really feeling grateful for all the very caring and helpful family and grandparents so close by and always willing to help. Thankful too for a very involved Cop Dad who has been very with me to nearly every single appointment even though it gets him all worked up and stressed out when we have left some of the more questionable appointments. He has been there every step of the way and truly cares what's going on. PLUS, most of the time he has been very helpful around the house and with Little Buddy despite all his weird hours with training and work and side jobs. I talk to some women and well, I have it pretty good in that area from what I hear. This year has been though almost the breaking point in our marriage. Though I think it was a good thing in that our marriage is better now than it has been in years. It has been lots of work and counseling and fighting and figuring stuff out as far as what works and what must give and so on for it to work. I don't know if it's such a struggle for most cops to not be so angry, stressed, mean, detached and negative especially at home but it seems that I hear more LEOW's admit it more and more. It has been worlds better lately and that's what counts.
So FTO training ends on Friday and there is no more training (ET) until December which should conveniently sandwich Cop Dad's baby leave without missing a beat. OY! In the meantime, Cop Dad has been shopping around and researching flat screen TV's in his spare time. We HAVE a TV but it is old and humongous and "old school." So Cop Dad wants to spend his upcoming FTO check on it and as much as I think it's frivolous, so what. He has busted his ass this year for everything and we are not the keep up with the Jones's type of people at all and seldom if ever make big purchases like this unless something breaks. He has agreed to spend a lower amount so we can get a new railing for our front porch (the old one rusted through at the base and snapped off), a new larger area rug for our living room (old one is falling apart and small), then use our income tax this spring for a new driveway which is all a crumble and cracked and sinking too. All without any credit or financing use, thank God.
Now we are just hoping to make it through the week for FTO training and also for Little Buddy's Halloween. Then whatever happens, happens cause I am so done, I'll need a wheelbarrow soon to cart this stomach around. Ha! We are anonymous on our blog but will gladly e-mail the birth announcement to any of you that I have your e-mails. Feel free to comment it and I will delete and not post so no trolls get it.
Garden Progress 2026
1 week ago
8 comments:
that is a lot of traveling,but hey at least he sticks to it and will be done by Friday,some popo's I know travel about 40 miles every day cause they bought their houses in BFE,and they hate it!we are 12 miles from the dh workplace or training places.tg!Congrats to your dh on his accomplishments.
5'3"!I wish I was that tall,I am 4'11-1/2"!!I can picture how big and round,but short,you must look.LOL The things us women must do cause the men certainly wouldnt be able to handle it!lordy
I think most,well at least mine,and from what I hear we ALL have problems,not sure if its just cause of their jobs,sometimes some guys already have that attitude and their job brings it out more,they become detached and stressed and all that other crap at home,they let out what they have to hold in at work.One thing I learned from counseling is its just easier for them/us,to hurt the ones they/we love.why,its still a wonder to me!but we did learn that he needs to vent or work out his stress so he does his workouts and listens to his crazy music and than soaks in his hottub,to relax him,and all that does help.I hate those that go around pretending their marriage is perfect and cant be apart and blah blah,get real,some marriages are probably great,but not without any strife,no way!anyways enough of my rant,sorry for taking over your blog!
I am glad you guys are in a better place,it takes work and continued work,cause after 19 yrs of being together every day is a work in progress.so kudos to you for not giving up.
a flatscreen tv is great,and the prices are even better nowadays.
we won our 42" 2 yrs ago,tg cause thats when the prices were sky high or else we wouldnt have one.
I would love an announcement,and me verified if u need any references I have them.
ps.the troll thing,umm I am actually trying to be a troll for halloween,you know the ones with the hair sticking up.lol
You know what? I can hear some peace in there... just a smidge and it's tempered with anxiety, tiredness and maybe something else, but it's there. I'm happy for you.
Officers have to live within 30 minutes response time, so the furthest town is 14 miles. When Husband got picked up we were 30 miles away and so had to move before the year and a half probation was up. Which wasn't a big deal since we wanted to move anyway, just sayin'.
24 years under the belt - lots of fights, lots of figuring, not even sure if being a dumb-ass was a cop thing. But with enough conversation and our new motto: "We're on the same team" when things get stressful, we seem to have found the nirvana that everybody raves about. About time!!!
Send me an announcement! I'm pretty sure ya have the address.
Peace out, mamma-chica!
Hey L&P,
Thanks for sharing all your baby and hubby info, it is nice to know I am not alone in what I have to go through and what we have experienced. We actually live about 22 miles from the PD but training is 40 and he is in peak rush hour this week. Another reason we do not like day shift either, for us it throws the whole family off and then there's the commute. Anyway, I have some theories about the perfect police marriages. It seems as though either they had problems and want to keep problems, they have not had problem yet but will it's just a matter of time, they ARE having problems and do not want to admit it or they guard what they share to people they do not know. I understand but will tell you that when we first started having problems and I barely knew any cops wives, many of them were all sunshine and roses and I seriously thought we were beyond any hope and that my husband must really hate me cause all these other cops are so wonderful and kind to their wives. It was such a relief though sad when women both in real life and in blog land started to be honest with me about their relationships. I know of none that are completely perfect unless I hardly know the person and it is something we have not discussed. I think too some women have alot of friends and family reading their blogs and do not post all the yuck of their lives. Which makes total sense. ANYWAY, I think counseling is vital for most if not all police marriages at some point or another. It is not easy for them to deal with all the stress on a daily basis and then it just leeches home to us. I get it, I really hate the stress and damage it brings home but I get it.
On a lighter note, I cannot believe that you are going to be a troll, that is funny. Hope you post pictures of that and your cute kiddos dressed up too. We are going in the hood this year very low key and hope to post some pics of Little Buddy. He is very excited. Thanks for your comments and stopping by :) Oh, hold it, don't those little trolls just wear shorts? Oh oh . . . . . . lol
You got it Meadowlark, I definitely have your e-mail and you are on my list, though it may take awhile. Oh and you are right about the peace here but I always hate to admit it cause it's like a jinx, like when moms stupidly start talking about their babies sleeping through the night, always jinxes it. Most days pretty good, some days a little snottiness but then he or I catch how he's acting and he knocks it off. You are also sooooooo right about the same team motto. I have even just come out and asked him that before, "Hey, who's team are you on anyway?" And he snaps out of it. Exhausting but it's coming along little by little. Thanks for your input, it is always good to hear from you and I sincerely appreciate your openness and honesty. I do not know you in real life but I have learned from you on my journey. Not to be corny, but I can swear that there is a different type of closeness we have with some blog pals that we do not have with some RL friends. Thanks!
Hey, so glad you guys are on better marriage ground. I SOOOO know what you mean about it being a bad year but also a good thing because you worked through it. This was a breaking point year for hubs and I too and yet, wonderful, because things are so, so much better now!! Happy for you two.
As for the baby announcement, I'd love to receive one! My email is public on my blog so send it to married2thelaw@gmail.com.
You got it CW! My heart was happy for you too when I read your post the other day. Guess it's just cause as a cops wife when things are hurting, it's really, really bad and horrible and in many ways as a marriage takes two I truly believe that much of the time the mood and tension and fighting are under their control more than ours. I have tried every tactic, from ignoring it to being not around to fighting back and it just seems that nothing works when they want to be nasty and stressed. Like a roller coaster. Then too, many a day we are doing fine and then Daddy gets home and there is lots of crying and anger and whatnot and well it's just such a difference when it was just Little Buddy and me and he was at work. Anywho, things are good today and I think that sometimes it's just catching it when things start getting icky and talking and dealing with it. I am relieved for any marriage that can weather the storm and know all too well how another cops wife can hurt and feel helpless and empty inside. OK, cleansing breath. You are on my list and entered in my address book. I'd be happy to send you an announcement though like I told the others, it may take a bit with all that goes on and Cop Dad not being too computer savvy with design and photo programs. Thanks for your input and stopping by :)
Yes! E-mail me the announcement! I feel SO sorry for these last few weeks of preggers! I carried both pregnancies to 37 weeks and they came on their own, but I was WAY done. I also carried them super inside so back pain was horrendous, but I'd take that over what you're going through (sorry, I know that doesn't help AT ALL, just letting you know that I think you have a worse deal and I'm extremely sympathetic)
It's actually been really helpful reading all the hijacked comments that accompanied this post as well!
Congrats to the hubs on FTO and I hope that everything goes just as you'd like it to. Happy Halloween!
haha,everyone keeps saying all they wear is shorts,but I did find some that wear little costumes-we will see how it turns out and i will take pics.
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